Funny Headlines

• Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
• Farmer Bill Dies in House
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
• Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
• Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Source: http://plainlanguage.gov/examples/humor/headlines.cfm

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Funny Lyrics

Actually, misheard lyrics.

For starters, the real lyrics are:
Smoke on the water
A fire in the sky

But which way did you hear it?

Slow motion Walter.
The fire engine guy

Slow walking Walter,
fire engine guy

Slow, cousin Walter

Small can of water

Smoke whatcha wanna

Slow running horses.
Fire in the sky

Smoke marijuana
A fire in the sky

Stove's getting hotter.
Fire in the pies.

Smoke on the water.
Papaya in the sky

Slow running water
and fire in the skies


Source: http://www.kissthisguy.com/
(named after the world's most commonly misheard lyric)

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Funny Quotes from the DC Folks

Whether you like him or not, you have to admit he has a way with words. Take the quiz to see if you can tell who said it - Rumsfeld, Quayle, George Sr. or George Jr.

Source: http://www.dubyaspeak.com/pickdubya.phtml

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Funny Kids

Thanksgiving is a time of being with family - and maybe meeting some of the newer additions to the family. Here's the conversation between me and my 5-year old grand niece who I just met.

ME:...Hi, my name is Dianne
HER:..My name is Kalie. K - A - L - I - E. Kalie
ME:...Did you see that man who came in with me? His name is John.
HER:..Is he your husband?
ME:...Yes, he's my husband. See my ring?
HER:..I like your ring. Did he get it at Jared's?

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